he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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