WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
