He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
