you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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