Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
