Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I am naked and annoyed.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize