i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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