That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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