Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
