i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize