you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
