For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
