? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
