in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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