Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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