I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
