My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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