so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
