i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
