just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's blow job season.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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