i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
