NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
