i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
