you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize