if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
