U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
