Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
