doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I want you more than these girls want KFC
smell my finger.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
