It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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