Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
His hands were made for my vagina.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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