I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
