he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
