I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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