Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
