You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Are we still banned from the library?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize