New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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