glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
