She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
