hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
