Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
