Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You've changed since you got that strap on
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
