Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
