omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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