Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
