Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
