I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i think i have herpe
just one?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
