I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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