I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
