There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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