He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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