Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
