I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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