Michael Bay diarrhea
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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