apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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