Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
