Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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